I was reading 50 Shades of Grey out of curiosity despite it being the most badly written book I’ve ever sat through (And I’ve sat through some pretty badly written crap). Most fanfiction is better written that this junk.
And while I had things before this part of the book that made me uncomfortable, it’s now full blown anger and horror because really how is this okay?
Trigger warnings for assault and noncon sex acts.
Ana is faced with a decision- let him spank me or I’ll lose him and he’ll leave. “I don’t want to, I don’t want to let him but I don’t want him to leave.” So she walks over to him and he pins her to the bed and starts spanking her. And she’s like shouting and even tries to get up once to which he pushes her back down. And she never once tells him that it’s okay. And she’s thinking the entire time he’s doing it how debased and humiliated she is, how much she wants him to stop, and after how much she never wants it to happen again. She’s thinking also that she can’t ask him to stop because that’s even more humiliating.
And after he spanks her he shoves his fingers into her and says “Well oh you liked it you’re turned on.” And then they fuck and she’s like “Oh well I like the sex part at least.”
After he leaves she’s basically left a sobbing wreck and when he comes back they kinda half way fight, but she can’t say how she feels. Though to be fair, during the conversation, she says something he doesn’t like and he makes an angry face at her, she goes meek, gets upset, and asks in quiet voice if he’s going to hit her again. So if she’s having problems talking about how she feels, fear of getting ‘punished’ helps keep her mouth shut.
So she can’t articulate how she feels so he tells her to write him an email- which basically consists of her calling what he did assault and telling him that she felt “demeaned, debased, abused, and assaulted” but then tells him but you were right about what you said about me being aroused by it.
And his response to her saying that this is how she feels? It basically amounts to: “you’re overreacting it wasn’t assault” “Well you knew what I was going to do when you stood next to me.” “You didn’t say no so that means it’s okay” “You didn’t tell me to stop” “You didn’t say the safe word” “You were aroused so that means you liked and wanted it.” “Even if you feel debased and abused and assaulted, could you just deal with it and let me do this stuff anyways because you’re a submissive and that’s what you do.”
Then says that they’re ‘Consenting adults’ at which point she gets sarcastic about it like “Consenting adults?! Really?” And his response was “Well you didn’t call the cops.”
Because apparently not calling the cops and not saying no is consent to do whatever you like.
Then when she tells her that her mind keeps telling her to flee from him to Alaska or somewhere, he just tells her “Well you wouldn’t get away anyways, I’d find you. I can track your cell phone.”
Like, I’m just really upset by this book now. I was freaked out by the fact he tracked her phone when he barely knew her but the fact that he keeps bringing it up like a threat makes this even worse.